When my son was little he received a Hallmark bear on his first Valentine’s Day in 1995. He loved this bear and it instantly became his comfort item. So much so that I bought a second one because I had read to get two of whatever the comfort item was so you could swap them out and wash them. Good idea, but it didn’t work. T (my son) knew right away they were different. He ended calling one Daddy Bear, this was his original and favorite, and the other was Mommy Bear. Daddy Bear is the one he took everywhere with him for a few years. He got dirty a lot, he got holes that I had to sew up and patch, but T loved Daddy Bear so much. Eventually he grew out of Daddy Bear, but I do still have his as a very special memory.
Fast forward 21+ years and now my son is the father to my amazing twin granddaughters. I thought it would be awesome to have a Daddy Bear for both Violet and Valerie also so I did some searching online and actually found two of them in like new condition, one on eBay and one on Amazon. GaGa (that’s my grandma name) quickly bought them both.
When I originally bought the bears I was hoping that my son would be back in the lives of the girls. It still is not working out that way sadly. I do feel extremely lucky that the twins and their mom are living with us though. Yes, it is hard, but I’m so happy to get to spend so much time with the girls. So the other day I decided it was time for me to go ahead and give the new bears to the twins. I got them ready by removing the red sash and paper Cupid’s arrow that were originally attached (we did that with my son too). Then I sat the twins down on the couch with me and showed them the bears. I told Valerie and Violet how their daddy had a bear just like this when he was their age and that these Daddy Bears are here to give them lots of love and watch out for them until their own daddy is ready to be a part of their lives.
I know the babies didn’t quite understand what I was saying, but they both had huge smiles on their faces as I explained and showed them their new bears.
This is one of those moments where I was so happy on one hand because they liked the bears, but on the other hand I was very sad because I wish my son could have actually given the bears to his daughters and told them the story.
Even though my son is not making good decisions these days I still love him so very much and only want the best for him. It saddens me that he is missing out on so much of the twins life. I have lots of hope that eventually he will get his life together and then be able to be an amazing part of his daughter’s lives. Until that time I do try to share my fond memories of their daddy with them – again I don’t know what they understand, but I want to make sure they know that their daddy does have a lot of good in him.
So for now, the new Daddy Bears are here watching over Valerie and Violet and giving them lots of love. I just wish my son still had his Daddy Bear with him to watch over and give him love and support too.