I am a victim of domestic violence.
That is a really hard sentence to write or say out loud…
I mean really hard.
I actually told the story about the last physical event early this year on my Mother’s Day post, Sadness on Mother’s Day. Even though I knew it was domestic violence I just didn’t want to say those words. It’s my own son. How does this happen?
Most people think of domestic violence as women being hurt by the man in their life or to children by a parent. There are many other forms of domestic violence and abuse though. Children abusing their parents, especially moms, is a big one as well but not talked about very much. I’m guessing that, like me, moms feel like they have failed if this happens to them. We shouldn’t feel like that, but we do. It’s just a fact – we feel like failures as moms.
I truly love my son more than anything else in this world. That doesn’t mean I like him or his actions right now though. But I will always love him no matter what. I haven’t seen him since May and I miss him terribly. Not the mean things, but I miss my baby that I know loves me and that gives me a hug when I need it or asks me for one when he needs it. I am saddened that he is not a part of his twin daughter’s lives right now and missing seeing him understand how awesome being a parent can be. I miss those times when he lets go and can be silly. I miss his conversations about anything and everything. I miss going to lunch with him like we did so often.
I miss my son.
But I don’t miss his anger or violence or abuse.
I can’t have him around me the way he is right now so the order or protection still stands. I can’t be fake in telling his ex-girlfriend (who lives with us) not to put up with violence and then she would see him doing it to me. I can’t let him hurt the twins or even let them see the way he is hurting others.
I just can’t.
But I still love him and miss him.
I know someone is going to read this post and know what I am talking about. They will understand my feelings and appreciate how hard it is to talk about this and hopefully they won’t feel so alone about what is happening to them.
Please take action in your life, no matter how hard, to get yourself out of the domestic violence situation.
Please don’t say “why don’t you just leave” or other phrases to people you know who may be in a domestic violence situation. It just is not that easy.
This week’s infographic is about domestic violence in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Most of you know I have worked with Verizon and the #VZWBuzz program for many years now and one of the things I love about this company is the Verizon Hopeline program which raises awareness and helps with prevention of domestic violence. It touches me personally and I love that they are so committed to this program.