Society, Judgement, the Company You Keep and More - Thoughts from http://www.Robyns.World

I haven’t done a post like this for a while, but I was struck today by the need to for various reasons.

First – I don’t feel well today. I have some major female issues (for another post) that happen and I need to have surgery but it has to wait for right now. It made my family plans change for today which I hate. In the same vein, although not related to today, my depression (again, for another post) has been a major issue for a lot of things lately. The best I can hope for from family and friends is that they understand when these things happen and can still love and support me even if I disappoint them at times.

Second – I saw this picture and the story for it on Instagram…

This Instagram really struck me that Kelly stood by this young man and tried to help. She wasn’t judging, just trying to help a fellow human being. SHE CARED AND STAYED! This is so huge, so many people, even in their own circle of family and friends, have a lot of trouble with that second part of staying. Staying is so crucial to all of us and our “little selves” inside of us who feel shame, guilt, and need love and staying to show that love more than anything. I applauded Kelly for her strength to stay in this instance.

Third – I’m not sure what led me to this, other than fate possibly, but I came across this quote on Pinterest…

I liked this quote at first. Then I kept thinking about it. I thought I should look up this quote and see the originator because, let’s face it, we are all judged and we all judge others in some way. That search led me to many different quotes including ones such as…

  • Sister Virginia used to say, ‘You’ll be known by the company you keep.’
    — Michael Scheuer
  • You are judged by the company you keep — Unknown
  • Birds of a feather flock together. –English Proverb

I have used these sayings myself, especially to my son growing up. However, I am a bit older and, hopefully, a bit wiser now and those sayings no longer seem to fit. If we limit ourselves in our tiny little worlds to just those who are like us or who we want to be like then we our limiting ourselves to the majority of the world and in the process we are also continuing to judge other in a negative way.

That is where I am at right now as I write this post. I don’t want to limit my world to certain types of people. I want to explore everything and everyone. I want to be able to listen to the stories, plights, fortunes and misfortunes, trials and tribulations of others.

To be honest, I thought I was doing this previously. A big part of what I did was try to sympathize with others but I also tried to let them know that “not all white/suburban/etc. people felt that way. I was missing the point because I was trying to somewhat apologize for the acts of people and try to take the shame and blame off of myself. A lot of credit in me recognizing my misguided support goes to Lizz Porter  and Jasmine Banks. They are both amazing women, whom I first met online but also have had the privilege to meet in real life. These women helped me understand that being supportive of others, and whatever – good or bad – they were dealing with, is not about me but about them. The others. Making something about you, as I was doing, is not terrible, but it does not do anything for the others. We have to take ourselves out of the equation and truly feel empathy, support, compassion, love, and all those feelings for others – not ourselves.

I still slip up, even knowing these things, but I am human and I am trying to learn and grow every single day. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be.