domestic violence help

Sometimes it is hard for us to step back and see, or name, what we are experiencing in our own lives. Domestic violence can be one of these things. If you have never been in a situation like this it may sound strange, but it is not always about a wife being battered constantly by a husband. There are so many other parts to domestic violence and it often starts slowly.

I have shared part of my own domestic violence story here on my blog. It is not the typical story either. My abuser was my own adult son. And as much as I hate that he hit me, I still love my son very much and always will. However, because of his actions I have a restraining order against him and haven’t seen him in over a year now. I miss him terribly but I know that my actions are best for me right now. Just like me, many others who are victims of domestic abuse still feel love toward their abusers. It is a very hard path in life and there is no one single right way to fix the problem. What victims do need to always do though is to get to a safe place.

violence wheel

I’m counting on my son changing, at some point. I do not know when it will be, but I will be here when he is ready. However, until he is ready to make major changes in his life and get the help he needs I have to just wait, and worry, and miss, and love in my heart.

Abusers cannot just say they are sorry. They cannot just say, “I will never do that again”, they must seek help for them to understand their own actions and the emotions that go with it and to get tools to help them. It is so important that victims of domestic abuse and violence to understand this as well. You have to remove yourself from the situation until you see the abuser taking these actions and then it will still be a rocky road. Both victims and abusers need to seek professional help so that they are able to lead healthy and happy lives free of violence.

NISVS infographic
Infographic displaying latest statistics from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010-2012. Shows key statistics on intimate partner violence, sexual violence, rape, violence experienced before the age of 18, and resulting negative impacts such as feeling fearful, concern for safety and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder among women and men in the United States.

For more information for victims, abusers, and those that just want to help, please visit TheHotline.org for tons of resources, stories, information, statistics and more about domestic violence and abuse.

Robyn